Hello, Jeju

Blogging in my hotel room just because I don't know what to do. It's too cold outside to venture around for too long especially at night. In fact, I'm not sure if I can even feel my nose. I have to admit, I'm missing Malaysia's overwhelming heat a little bit.

On the other hand, I can finally cross 'seeing snow' out of my list. :D

It snowed the moment we landed yesterday night, just like I wished it would, even if it's only for a little while. Had to catch a super early flight to Jeju so we had to camp out at a 24 hours McDonald's near the airport till then. Interesting experience, it was, along with a random fist fight between 2 guys over a girl at a table near ours at 3am. A bit of punching, then Guy A threw a chair at Guy B, who deflected and sent the chair flying down the stairs. In the end, the cops came and they settled down. Girl kept crying the whole time, good job, while we all stood at a corner because the guys were blocking the exit.

So anyway, the food here is definitely awesome, but this hotel we're at is not so. After dinner, we walked out to a mild snowfall and it was so pretty! I wish I could've taken a picture but it probably wouldn't show.

I'm looking out the window now, and I do think this is the first time I see oranges in a tree. The snow has stopped but the roads are covered in white and I've never seen the sky so clear back at our place.

"all good things are wild and free"

As a result of (literally just) sitting at home everyday, I was surfing for new games to dl when I found this.. app about astrological birth charts. I was curious (mostly bored) so I decided to try it out. Now, I don't know how seriously people regard things like horoscopes and astrology, but I suppose I've always just been in between.. Sure, I want to learn how to read tarots and chart stars and constellations, but its not like I religiously read my horoscope daily. In fact, the only times I ever read about horoscopes is when I'm waiting for my mom at the salon and they only have beauty magazines lying around.

So anyway, this one seemed more serious.. I had to type in my date, time and place of birth and the likes to apparently get an "accurate" reading. And the weirdest part is when I'm reading, I'm just going, "Okay, this is true....this too... and that.. and HELL YES, this is so true.!" for about 30 paragraphs. Yep, it was THAT long.

I suppose what I'm trying to get at is.. isn't it weird that what we are, and how we are.. is apparently written in the stars...? Yep, as ridiculous as that sounds. It kinda feels like we don't even have a choice to be who we want to be, because even if we change, its most likely already written somewhere up above. If that is true, and we're not here JUST because of evolution, shouldn't there be some kind of purpose to us being here? If everything is apparently already written. I honestly cannot imagine we're here just to live, grow old and die... although yes, it seems we're all heading in that direction and I'm still in some kind of denial.

I don't want to be immortal; I'm not too sure how I could go on living if everyone else keeps leaving me. I suppose I just want something different in life. I don't know exactly what or how to achieve that but its this gnawing feeling I have at the back of my head that won't leave. I can't be the only one. So how come no one seems to get what I'm talking about? :S

And THIS is why I shouldn't be alone with my thoughts at 2am.

a full circle and we're back

Its that time of the year again! This year's a relaxing Chinese New Year, finally.... and yesterday a friend told me, "cny holidays still got a lot of assignments :(".. I know how he feels and damn, I do NOT miss that feeling.

I finally got the job I was hoping for... or more like I finally got a job at the company I was hoping to work for... Surprisingly, they called me back 2 weeks ago to consider me for another 2 vacancies they had, which apparently was better than the one I originally applied for. Was asked to go back for a 'chat' with more people and that resulted in a looonger wait than usual, since I was being considered for 3 positions. There were random times when I think maybe I wouldn't even get any of it. And that would seriously just suck. I spoke to my aunt countless times about this and I'm glad things turned out better than I hoped. Sadly, still based in Malaysia. I'm hoping hoping hoping things will change.... later on. My uncle thinks I should have just packed my bags and move to Singapore. Haha, oh uncle, I wish it was as easy as that.. Hopefully, this job will be a huge stepping stone for me.

Still, free overseas trip every year. YESS!!

New year, new.. goals?

Started off the new year with cleaning, cleaning and more cleaning.
Rearranged my entire bedroom (it looks much better now), dug out, packed and threw away 4 years of my life.
I thought I was gonna be happy to get rid of all that stuff, but right after that I just felt like crap, I'm never going to see it all again. My sketches and my drawings, my portfolios and journal sketchbooks. I'd like to think I did pretty well for someone who has never attended art class before. I'm sorry but primary and secondary school's art class doesn't count.. I don't even remember what I did.. Cut out random shapes and made stamps out of raw potatoes (and suddenly I remember this Indian girl in my standard 2 class drinking her blue paint.. oh lord), paint a fruit here and there, that anyaman thing we did with art block and color paper...? Yep, that's about it.
Mom ecstatic though, now that all my junk is gone, she says my room and the hall outside seems more.. spacious somehow. Must be a psychological thing. At least someone's happy.

Off to clean something else now..

Final days

Okay, so the title sounds a bit ominous.... maybe it is, maybe it isn't.
For the past 23 years, I celebrated New Years' knowing exactly where I will be, what I will be doing the following year. School, college, class, homework, assignments, submissions, holidays.
This year, I will be moving into 2012 unsure of everything.
Aaahh. I am scared, nervous and excited.
Why do I feel like everyone else seems to be able to move from studying to working so gracefully while I'm here fumbling, wondering what to do and where to start.

I am tired of downloading e-books. I want to hold and read a real book, dammit. Spending the last day of the year in a bookshop seems like a good idea. And I'll count down with a Disney movie at night.
Tangled is my latest obsession.
Floating lanterns: MOST AWESOME SCENE EVER <3 I can't believe I let college stop me from watching this movie an entire year!
I really love how Disney can single handedly keep every/any childhood dreams alive :D

Working at Disney = BEST DREAM EVER.

Most likely never to come true too..... hmm......

CHALLENGE ACCEPTED.

Today is December!

Okay, 2 hours early. But anyway...

Is there a reason why I can't enjoy Christmas because I'm not "celebrating" it?

How does one 'officially' celebrate anyway? Christmas trees, turkey, presents and the like?

If I don't have all of the above, I'm not celebrating Christmas?

Seriously, I've never noticed how weird some people are..

What was I looking at all these years?

Speaking of results, I got them a while ago.

._.

I was expecting to get it in mid-December... but this works for me too cause I totally skipped the panicky mood.

I PASSED.

OH YES.

GOODBYE COLLEGE FOREVER.

I've been told I might live to regret this....

but no, I don't think so.

Now the only thing to look forward to is KOREA <3

Oh, and a job. Asap.

Damn. I want my 2 months break.

Why do You make life so hard for us sometimes?

やった！

And so, college ends.

I'm too relieved to worry about getting my results.. maybe a couple of weeks from now.

Then there's a job to look for.

It's silly but I feel like everything I had planned all these years have suddenly disappeared.

Everyone's asking "what's next?".... and then I realise, I have no idea... yet.

Too much I want to do, I'm feeling uncertain right now.

My dad, of course, does not approve. He would like me to be on that ONE path to success without wasting time, whereas I'd rather take a few different paths and see which one I want to continue on. I don't think its a waste of time if I get to experience things... right?

How can one be sure they're right if they haven't done anything wrong?

Blah..

Maybe cause it's only been 5 days, I still have moments when I wake up at 8-9am and panic, thinking I somehow missed my alarm. I've been told it doesn't sink in until maybe after a month..

There isn't much to do, however, given the current situation we're in (yet again). Will this never end? At least I still have so many books unread. Starbucks is currently collecting old books for charity, its time to clean up my shelf.