Hmm..

I wonder if we became good friends not because we had to sit next to each other,

but in between all the fun and laughter, we both saw in each other

something that reflected our own selves and what we were going through,

even as we tried to hide it.

A similarity.

Pain, hidden behind forced laughter,

a strong need to be understood, behind a mask of indifference,

a yearning to love and be loved, even as we slowly constructed walls around our hearts,

a desperation for something to hold onto, as we slowly drift into solitude.

In the midst of all the chaos, all we ever really had was each other.

Phwoar..

I just got the biggest surprise of my life.

No, seriously.

My brother, who usually pretends he forgets my birthday (or maybe he really doesn't remember), got me a birthday present..... 3 weeks early.

Without me bugging him for it.

He got me G-Dragon's Shine a Light concert DVD! (which I have been wanting since... well, forever). And really, this is the only thing I want.

It just arrived on Monday, and I was too broke to get it (its 180 bucks!). Plus, I think this is the uncensored version :D

It was a real surprise because I really never thought he would get it for me, unless I really begged him like crazy, promising him the moon and the stars in return.

Totally made my day :D

It comes in a nice big box, and the cd cover is a mask of.... I think thats GD's face. Plus there's a poster and this nice and thick photobook that comes along with it :D

\o\ |O| /o/ *victory dance*

I finally started Jappy class today, after being on a break for 2 months while they searched for new teacher to take over our class. You know the song, about the world being small? I totally agree with that. Because I saw someone I never thought I'd see again. Seriously. After all I did to..... avoid it. And he's in the same class as me now. Oh Lord. I hope he has forgotten the incident 2 years ago. Lyd will kill herself laughing when I tell her.

EDIT:

"Thanks for providing me with a good laugh", is her answer.. Apparently its amusing that my life is full of drama.. and seriously weird unexpected people popping in and out of it.

Nerd-fest

Tommy Tallarico: *to the choir* ARE YOU READY ?!

Choir people: YESS!!!

Tommy: *to us* I don't even know why they're ready. They're not even in the next song.

Choir people: =.=||

Me: LOL!!!

Hahaha. I still think that's so funny.

I can't stop thinking about VGL. I can't believe its over now. It was amazing. If they'll come to Malaysia every year, I would definitely go for each one. I went with (no surprise) Lyd, her sis, Amelia and husband, Leo, and a friend of theirs.. Jeannie? And I may have acquired another (not so flattering) nickname from Leo and even Amelia calls me that now -.- At this rate, nobody will remember my name anymore. Its sad, really.

Anyway, even though we had the cheapest seats in the house (RM80), we got a really good spot right in the middle. They played songs from most of the games I played, and some I haven't.

There was Sonic the Hedgehog, Super Mario Brothers, Halo, God of War, Final Fantasy (!), Kingdom Hearts, Castlevania (!!), Legend of Zelda, Shadow of the Colossus, Metal Gear Solid, Megaman, Warcraft, Chrono Trigger... and I can't remember.

When they played Mario and Sonic and I was watching the clips, it made me feel nostalgic and a little old. I mean, I played those games when I was like, 7? 8? More than 10 years ago.

I cried a little when they played Hikari from Kingdom Hearts.

I screamed like a loon on loon tablets when they played One Winged Angel from FFVII, cause its my favorite. I also screamed "Sephiroth!" like an absolute idiot.

I died when they played Castlevania in the first encore, because I thought it was over and they definitely wouldn't play it.

Laura Intravia played the flute in Legend of Zelda and the Chrono medley like a dream *.*

I do wish its Saturday all over again.

VGL, baby!

My dad is such a drama king.. sometimes, I don't even know why I bother.

I have this bad habit of not carrying my phone around with me at home because seriously, its not like I'm expecting a gazillion phone calls. So he came back a while ago, and emo-ed cause he called and I didn't pick up. His exact words were "I called you so many times, I'm surprised your phone didn't explode." So I went up to my room to check and there was ONE miss-call from him. I said "If my phone is going to explode for every single call I missed, then I might as well save all my money and not use one." And he said "One is a lot."
No shit right.

....

I'm about to go get ready for VGL in the evening. I was so excited I couldn't sleep yesterday, and when I did, I dreamt of zombies... in a hospital. They look like a cross between the orcs in LOTR and the Gremlins, with the height of dwarves. One of them looked like Michael Jackson, and he got a doctor to fix his nose before he bit his head off. I'm not kidding. I'm not trying to be funny either. It was scary. They were going around chewing off heads and blood was spraying everywhere. I was hiding under a table in the printing room (at least thats what I think it is, cause I remember a lot of machines) and I could see everything that was going on outside. Suddenly, one of the zombies walked past and saw me through the glass window, and he tried to break down the door. I can still remember the cracks he made on the door. Then 2 girls ran past screaming, and he ate them instead, so I ran and hid behind a machine. He came back after a while to peer through the window and he couldn't see me anymore so he ran off. And I told myself "You need to freaking wake up if you don't want to die!".

I woke up and my heart was pounding like I just ran to China and back. I told my mom and she asked "How do you know you were dreaming at that time?" and I said "Cause I wouldn't be chased by zombies under normal circumstances." and she said "You are just so weird."

It does not sound like a compliment.

But now that I think about it, I have no idea why I hid under the table. Even though it seemed like the right thing to do. The zombies are short right, hiding under the table would put me directly at their eye level. Right. If I ever have the same dream, I'd know where not to hide.

Its finally over.

I missed yesterday's pin-up deadline at 3pm. And I don't even think it was my fault, because we were told pin-up is between 2-4pm, but at 230pm, I received a message saying 3pm is the latest. I rushed to print some of my boards and by the time I reached college, the rooms were locked. So I couldn't present for internal review today even though I had everything done. Which I would obviously be penalised for.15%, if I'm not mistaken. 4 days of all-nighters for nothing. And then, I found out we won't be having an external review this semester. So I can't even use that to at least try and bring my grades back up.

I want to scream.

Seriously..

I think my patience is at its limit.

I wish everyone would be... more into what they're doing. Everyone wants good grades, but nobody is willing to work for it. Like, I live pretty far away from Damansara myself, but I still make the effort to drive there on my own to get measurements and pictures, and all everyone does is ask it from me. We didn't get the full measurements for the plans and front elevation, and I took the effort to sit and stare at the picture for hours, or ask my Dad, just to get the closest measurements, and everyone just says "Send it to me when you're done, thanks.". I take the time to meticulously draw every bit of detail of the elevation according to scale, and they say "Let me photostat your drawing."

The problem is not that I mind sharing, but everyone is beginning to take it for granted that they can just get what they need from me, without having to do anything.

And this is not the first time. Because everyone knows I usually don't say anything.

We had a presentation today, and the original plan was to gather early and arrange everyone's part of the slides together. But it turns out everyone just shoves their pen drive at me, and I'm supposed to proof-read and compile everything while everyone sits around talking. I even did the slides for another person in the group. With the sole reason being "Cause your English is so good". They make it sound like speaking fluent English is a talent, rather than a skill you acquire through practice. That seems to be their excuse for not even bothering to try speaking it. Once, I had to sit and listen to a friend explain her design in Chinese, while I type out the correct sentences so she could use them in her presentation.

I'll tell you this; I'm tired of speaking in Chinese. It annoys me sometimes, that I have to be forced to conform to suit everyone.

I have this bad habit of hand-drawing all my plans and sections and stuff. Everyone else uses autoCAD and 3dMax which is wayy faster. But I like drafting (much to everyone's horror). I've been told I'm probably the only one who still draws my own plans.

...

First ever Karaoke session yesterday with Sensei and the rest of the class for Sensei's farewell. It was funny because the guys kept picking girly/anime songs to sing, like (oh Lord) Ayumi Hamasaki and Koda Kumi and Leena and I kept picking guy-ish songs to sing. I tried X-Japan's Endless Rain, Gackt's Last Song and Bon Jovi's Always and nearly killed myself.

Missed a friend's surprise birthday party, and Hann and Kelv ended up missing it too, because Hann wanted to wait till I was done with Sensei's farewell party and then pick me up. By the time he reached my place, he got a call saying the party was over :S I''m so sorry!

...

And I wasted today moving furnitures. Spent about an hour just moving the books and magazines out of my room and another hour putting them back. Kinda feels like I have a brand new room now.

"Our story has three parts: a beginning, a middle and an end. And although this is the way all stories unfold, I still can't believe ours didn't go on forever."

-Nicholas Sparks, Dear John

I love Nicholas Sparks :D

Frankie's Lab.

The only time when I actually feel that everything I've gone through was actually worth it is when I look back at what I've done. Which is pretty good (or maybe thats just me).

Finally handed up our model today; its so huge, it wouldn't fit into any of our cars and it was too heavy for us girls to carry to college so we had half the model hanging out of my car boot, with 3 people holding it from the back, and me in the front seat (literally) rolling to college on Neutral. Think we made quite a spectacle when we passed by some coffee shops and people gave us weird looks, and I was being honked at on the road.

After this, its Design all the way till review on Thurs. Starting to feel a slight panic.

Everything is hand-made, hand-painted, hand-whatever.

Some of the smaller 'accessories' I've made, among others.

I guess its obvious that I would make miniature books.

If getting your leg hair waxed off is as painful as getting it glued off, I don't see why girls put themselves through the torture.

It was agony trying to peel dried UHU glue off my legs. I was tempted to just leave them there.

I've got a few bald spots on my legs now.

Cut my foot with a bit of stray, broken perspex board and I didn't even realise it until the blood dripped down into a puddle and I thought I stepped on a bit of water =.=

And then I stepped on a satay stick and stabbed the same foot. Now I'm walking funny.

I just spent 15 hours in college working on model. Which is insane. Last time, I couldn't even bear to spend the customary 6 hours in school (which explains why I never joined any after-school activities except Girl Guides). And cheerleading for a brief moment, until Dad made me quit because I was the flier (the one being tossed around), and he thinks my friends are going to drop me and I'll be paralyzed for life.
Yes, that is my Dad for you.
The very same who wouldn't let me study marine biology, because (he think ) I will be at the sea, fall off the boat/ship and drown.
Sometimes, I'm surprised he even lets me out of the house.

I shall be very glad when I hand the model up tomorrow.. in a few hours.

The next time anyone tells me they want to do design, I'll say "Suicide is a lot faster and less painful."

....

Finally checked my mail a few days ago after a gazillion years, and I found out my Jappy sensei is going back to Japan :( And she may not be coming back.

Which is really sad. I've had her since the beginning of my lessons, for about 3 years now.

Farewell party's on Friday. I haven't had those since primary school.

I wonder who will be our new sensei?

裏切りは僕の名前を知っている

Yay! there will be a new anime up on AarinFantasy soon :D

By Hotaru Odagiri, who also drew その指だけが知っている.

Her drawings are really pretty.

And Koyasu Takehito's (voice) is in it!!*_* Yess~

I used to be so free.

The days pass by as if in a dream.

I need to destress... badly.

Been ditching all my work and going to college every single day for the past 2 weeks; weekends included, from morning till evening just to finish 'Frankenstein's Lab' for Minor. And its still not done. I'm about this close to giving up on it.

We were supposed to have at least 2 weeks to complete our design for review, now I have less than a week(!).

Sleep is a luxury I can no longer afford.

Please let me scrape through the next 2 weeks.

....

The bit of good news is tomorrow is April 6th! Finally the book is out.

Only I'm not free to go and get it :(

Christmas in Singapore 09