"all good things are wild and free"

As a result of (literally just) sitting at home everyday, I was surfing for new games to dl when I found this.. app about astrological birth charts. I was curious (mostly bored) so I decided to try it out. Now, I don't know how seriously people regard things like horoscopes and astrology, but I suppose I've always just been in between.. Sure, I want to learn how to read tarots and chart stars and constellations, but its not like I religiously read my horoscope daily. In fact, the only times I ever read about horoscopes is when I'm waiting for my mom at the salon and they only have beauty magazines lying around.

So anyway, this one seemed more serious.. I had to type in my date, time and place of birth and the likes to apparently get an "accurate" reading. And the weirdest part is when I'm reading, I'm just going, "Okay, this is true....this too... and that.. and HELL YES, this is so true.!" for about 30 paragraphs. Yep, it was THAT long.

I suppose what I'm trying to get at is.. isn't it weird that what we are, and how we are.. is apparently written in the stars...? Yep, as ridiculous as that sounds. It kinda feels like we don't even have a choice to be who we want to be, because even if we change, its most likely already written somewhere up above. If that is true, and we're not here JUST because of evolution, shouldn't there be some kind of purpose to us being here? If everything is apparently already written. I honestly cannot imagine we're here just to live, grow old and die... although yes, it seems we're all heading in that direction and I'm still in some kind of denial.

I don't want to be immortal; I'm not too sure how I could go on living if everyone else keeps leaving me. I suppose I just want something different in life. I don't know exactly what or how to achieve that but its this gnawing feeling I have at the back of my head that won't leave. I can't be the only one. So how come no one seems to get what I'm talking about? :S

And THIS is why I shouldn't be alone with my thoughts at 2am.

a full circle and we're back

Its that time of the year again! This year's a relaxing Chinese New Year, finally.... and yesterday a friend told me, "cny holidays still got a lot of assignments :(".. I know how he feels and damn, I do NOT miss that feeling.

I finally got the job I was hoping for... or more like I finally got a job at the company I was hoping to work for... Surprisingly, they called me back 2 weeks ago to consider me for another 2 vacancies they had, which apparently was better than the one I originally applied for. Was asked to go back for a 'chat' with more people and that resulted in a looonger wait than usual, since I was being considered for 3 positions. There were random times when I think maybe I wouldn't even get any of it. And that would seriously just suck. I spoke to my aunt countless times about this and I'm glad things turned out better than I hoped. Sadly, still based in Malaysia. I'm hoping hoping hoping things will change.... later on. My uncle thinks I should have just packed my bags and move to Singapore. Haha, oh uncle, I wish it was as easy as that.. Hopefully, this job will be a huge stepping stone for me.

Still, free overseas trip every year. YESS!!

New year, new.. goals?

Started off the new year with cleaning, cleaning and more cleaning.
Rearranged my entire bedroom (it looks much better now), dug out, packed and threw away 4 years of my life.
I thought I was gonna be happy to get rid of all that stuff, but right after that I just felt like crap, I'm never going to see it all again. My sketches and my drawings, my portfolios and journal sketchbooks. I'd like to think I did pretty well for someone who has never attended art class before. I'm sorry but primary and secondary school's art class doesn't count.. I don't even remember what I did.. Cut out random shapes and made stamps out of raw potatoes (and suddenly I remember this Indian girl in my standard 2 class drinking her blue paint.. oh lord), paint a fruit here and there, that anyaman thing we did with art block and color paper...? Yep, that's about it.
Mom ecstatic though, now that all my junk is gone, she says my room and the hall outside seems more.. spacious somehow. Must be a psychological thing. At least someone's happy.

Off to clean something else now..