あいはなに?

And then there are days when it feels like I'm going to spend the rest of my life loving people who could never love me back.

A song for us

I replay all our meetings in my head like a never-ending song; our words were lyrics, our laughter the music. Your smile is the chorus I keep seeing.

Events to come..

Driving to work as usual on Friday morning, then I turned up into KL and found myself staring at a huge billboard featuring Tim Burton's new movie, Dark Shadows! So awesome!! Now I have something else to look forward to in May!! Video Games Live is also in May, and I already have the ticket <3
Another good news is, I found out I could utilize my staff travel ticket by July, which means I can make it in time for Tim Burton's exhibition in La Cinematheque, Paris!!! It ends August 5th. I was so happy when I found out, I literally leaped around the office in joy. Of course, it is still subject to balloting so there's still a slight chance I may not get it, if there are other staffs traveling to the same destination at the same time.. but I'm keeping my fingers crossed. And saving up for the trip. Which means no spending on books. Dang.
I'm wondering if I should still go for Avenged Sevenfold's concert here and L'Arc en Ciel in Singapore :(

Things I'm looking forward to

Officially a month since work started, things are going fine so far but apparently picking up speed as we move into the 2nd month. It's a bit tough right now because I don't have the sales and marketing background and I struggle with the airline industry terms. ASK, PLF, PFR, CLF... the list goes on. But it's all so interesting because everything is so new and foreign to me. My geography knowledge is now awesome. Or so I'd like to think.

On some days though, I do miss Architecture. Despite my plans of returning to it someday, I wonder if I really will. The idea was to keep sketching and practice using design softwares (for nonexistent projects that I will make up on my own) and keeping up to date with the design industry news. But so far I haven't done any of that. I stopped sketching since I got this job. I spent all my free time catching up on work and things I'm supposed to know about my new job and trying to get in as much aviation knowledge as possible, I honestly wonder if I can try to keep both dreams. Gah..! But I still find myself wondering what else I want to try after this. Haha. A great news though; getting a text message in the middle of the night from Angel, telling me Redzwan composed my design sketches into a poster to be used in Edu Fair in Mid Valley and KLCC. Its so unbelievable, I want to go and check it out! <3

If all else fails

And then there are days when I wish running away is still an option.

Hello, Jeju

Blogging in my hotel room just because I don't know what to do. It's too cold outside to venture around for too long especially at night. In fact, I'm not sure if I can even feel my nose. I have to admit, I'm missing Malaysia's overwhelming heat a little bit.

On the other hand, I can finally cross 'seeing snow' out of my list. :D

It snowed the moment we landed yesterday night, just like I wished it would, even if it's only for a little while. Had to catch a super early flight to Jeju so we had to camp out at a 24 hours McDonald's near the airport till then. Interesting experience, it was, along with a random fist fight between 2 guys over a girl at a table near ours at 3am. A bit of punching, then Guy A threw a chair at Guy B, who deflected and sent the chair flying down the stairs. In the end, the cops came and they settled down. Girl kept crying the whole time, good job, while we all stood at a corner because the guys were blocking the exit.

So anyway, the food here is definitely awesome, but this hotel we're at is not so. After dinner, we walked out to a mild snowfall and it was so pretty! I wish I could've taken a picture but it probably wouldn't show.

I'm looking out the window now, and I do think this is the first time I see oranges in a tree. The snow has stopped but the roads are covered in white and I've never seen the sky so clear back at our place.

"all good things are wild and free"

As a result of (literally just) sitting at home everyday, I was surfing for new games to dl when I found this.. app about astrological birth charts. I was curious (mostly bored) so I decided to try it out. Now, I don't know how seriously people regard things like horoscopes and astrology, but I suppose I've always just been in between.. Sure, I want to learn how to read tarots and chart stars and constellations, but its not like I religiously read my horoscope daily. In fact, the only times I ever read about horoscopes is when I'm waiting for my mom at the salon and they only have beauty magazines lying around.

So anyway, this one seemed more serious.. I had to type in my date, time and place of birth and the likes to apparently get an "accurate" reading. And the weirdest part is when I'm reading, I'm just going, "Okay, this is true....this too... and that.. and HELL YES, this is so true.!" for about 30 paragraphs. Yep, it was THAT long.

I suppose what I'm trying to get at is.. isn't it weird that what we are, and how we are.. is apparently written in the stars...? Yep, as ridiculous as that sounds. It kinda feels like we don't even have a choice to be who we want to be, because even if we change, its most likely already written somewhere up above. If that is true, and we're not here JUST because of evolution, shouldn't there be some kind of purpose to us being here? If everything is apparently already written. I honestly cannot imagine we're here just to live, grow old and die... although yes, it seems we're all heading in that direction and I'm still in some kind of denial.

I don't want to be immortal; I'm not too sure how I could go on living if everyone else keeps leaving me. I suppose I just want something different in life. I don't know exactly what or how to achieve that but its this gnawing feeling I have at the back of my head that won't leave. I can't be the only one. So how come no one seems to get what I'm talking about? :S

And THIS is why I shouldn't be alone with my thoughts at 2am.