Escape.

Every time we're close to submissions/deadlines, something in me just rebels. I'd find every reason to slack and not do my work. I wonder why. Currently on a Disney craze. I'm watching one Disney movie per day. Currently, I've seen Beauty and the Beast, Little Mermaid, Pocahontas, Hercules and a few more. I still have about 13 movies I want to watch, including their sequels. Talk about slacking.
Am I secretly yearning to be a kid again? I think so.
Life was a lot simpler then.

7 days till April 6th. I feel like I've been waiting for this book forever.

I really wanted this lamp in Ikea, even though the price was pretty unreasonable.

Reminds me of a cluster of tiny little stars. I love stars :)

Its been a year, I don't think its even there anymore.

“I am such a fucking idiot, wanting a star I can’t have. But then, all stars are beyond human reach and I’m not even human."

-Dance with the Devil

Cleaning up my camera memory and I found some random pictures.

"I don't understand a God who would let us meet, if there's no way we could ever be together."

-City of Angels

Kingdom Hearts

I'm so in love :)

Its Friday again..

Crit yesterday was... somewhat good. I nearly missed it because despite everything, I accidentally fell asleep. Luckily my mom woke up and saw me. I didn't have much to change except my sections, which I thought was a good thing..... until Johnson told me they wouldn't ask us to change anything about our designs even if its bad because there's no time for that, so they'll just wait until our final review to shoot us ._. Not very comforting words. We were finally let off at 2pm and I stopped by the library to borrow a book, and came back to find out I borrowed the wrong one. I wanted "The History of Art" but I ended up borrowing "The Art of Art History".

Yep, there's a difference. After that, I slept till dinner at 9pm :D

1. I'm going for Video Games Live with Lyd, her sis and Leotard on April 17th :D.. Yay!!

2. No more Design classes! But I have 2 weeks to finish all my assignments from 5 different classes. Lord.

3. I had this urge yesterday, so I downloaded all the old Disney cartoons :) I miss Beauty and the Beast! :)

4. Today, a friend told me her brother said G-Dragon was spotted in Pavilion recently o_o.. Apparently a bunch of girls tried to chase after him. If its true... dammit! I want to chase after him too!

This is my favorite part :) I love the music here.

5.28am..

I'm finally done with everything.

Well, the study model could use more detail work but I can't focus on cutting in a straight line anymore. And I'm still missing circulation flow diagrams. I don't know if they're supposed to be to-scale but f-- it, I'm going to just draw freehand.

Even if I'm done, I can't sleep. I'll have to wake up in another 2 hours. Urgh. I have no idea what to do for 2 hours.

I'll tell you one thing..

... white table + butter paper = bad combination

I had to alter parts of my plans, and I was retracing a butter paper with another butter paper.. when I lifted both the papers~..... my entire floor plan is printed on my (previously white) table.

Omg.
It looks pretty awesome though. Haha.

And so I missed the Alice exhibition in MV.

My back is hurting from sitting too much. I swear I hear a crack each time I stretch. I don't know if I'll be prepared for this Thursday's final crit. Right now, my heart says "Do your work!" but my mind says "For Heaven's sake, go and sleep. I can't take this anymore."
After Design tutorial, we had a field trip for History. KL historical buildings tour/presentation. Walked from Petaling Street to Masjid Jamek, to Masjid Negara, stopping at every important landmark along the way, including the Merdeka Square and SAS Building.. and then back to Petaling Street from 3.30pm-8pm. The trip was nice in a way that there were a lot of places that I have never been to, like Little India, St Mary's Church and the KL Railway Station. And this is the first time I've seen the National Mosque up-close :S Although my back and legs are hurting like bitches now.
I want to sleep so badly.

I'm reading Louis I Kahn's "Between Silence and Light" again, to help me with my design concept and stuff. There is a certain beauty and quality to his poetic words that I respond to. Sometimes, I think I would have been better off doing something with writing, reading and speaking, because all of that seems to be more of my forte.


"Everybody is not equally talented. They are all marvelous, yes, but not equal. There is no person without talent. Talent prevails everywhere, but the question is in what way your singularity can blossom, because you cannot learn anything that is not part of yourself. Many of you have learned physics, I am sure, and passed every examination, and you don't know a word of it. That happened to me. I copied the notes of the boy next to me because he could both listen and write. If I listened, I could not write. If I wrote, I did not listen. The teacher might have said to me "Louis Kahn, it is important you learn physics because you're going to be an architect. But I would rather you don't take notes. Just listen. You will be examined, but I will ask you to draw physics for me." And I would have surprised him. It would be my forte, my way, and therefore it must not be disturbed. If you are crowded with that which does not belong to you, you will forget it; it will never be with you, and you will lose your sense of worth."
-Knowledge, Louis I. Kahn

I know..

..I should be doing my work right now.

But I'm sitting here with a pen in my hand, staring a blank piece of paper and my mind is just as blank.
I start doodling nonsense. Spirals, lines, curves.. unfinished sentences.
I can't concentrate.
I can't think.

And if I don't get to sleep next week, I know it'll be my own fault.


"What started as a whisper, slowly turned into a scream. Searching for an answer, where the question is unseen. I don’t know where you came from, and I don’t know where you’ve gone."
-Ben Harper

I'm as happy as a peapod :D

I have no idea why its a peapod.

Just as I was about to call Lyd, she called me first and said "Wanna go to Kinokuniya?"
"Hell yes!"
Intensive design work can wait.

My Kaoru and Die Guitar Bible is here~ But Lyd miscalculated the price(she said it would be about 70 bucks, but its 104) so I couldn't get it first. Damn. I will have to go back next week. I found the Humor section, and a whole bookshelf of Calvin and Hobbes books :D I wanted to get them so bad. But I was saving up to go to BookXcess after. They moved! 2 doors away to a bigger place.. where the old Amcorp cinema used to be. I really like the feeling of walking in to a new shop filled with bookshelves, full of books :) Yes, I am a nerd.

I got all of that for only RM90.... with change back. Think I'm going to start making a periodic trip every 2 weeks.


"The best moments in reading are when you come across something - a thought, a feeling, a way of looking at things - that you'd thought special, particular to you. And here it is, set down by someone else, a person you've never met, maybe even someone long dead. And its as if a hand has come out, and taken yours.
-The History Boys
......
Lyd's 雪ちゃん is so adorable. I couldn't stop cuddling her. The moment I set her down in her basket so that I could get my camera, she pooped. Very good timing. Makes me wish I have something of my own to cuddle. I'm a dog-person though, big ones :)

There is actually something more painful than not sleeping at all. That is.. having to force yourself to wake up 2 hours later, after you finally get to sleep.
The past 3 days has been absolute torture. Finally submitted my Technology assignment at 4pm and I thought I could look forward to a good sleep... until I read Ms Baizura's email a while ago. "Tutorials will start at 930am sharp. Thurs will be your final crit so I expect to see intensive work on Monday. Pls inform everyone."
Oh Lord. Intensive work. Kill me please.

Payam has quit :( A good friend of mine in class, looks like Orlando Bloom in his Pirates of the Caribbean days. He didn't even tell any of us.. I don't know why. We started out with 21 students in January, now there's only 15 left. It worries me a little, seeing people quit one by one :S

I miss...;

... watching cartoons. I miss reading comic strips. I haven't read a newspaper in months.

I miss Garfield.
I miss Calvin and Hobbes.

Piglet sidled up to Pooh from behind.
"Pooh!", he whispered.
"Yes, Piglet?"
"Nothing," said Piglet, taking Pooh's paw.
"I just wanted to be sure of you."

I really like this one.
I feel the same way!

Antique!

I can finally watch Antique! After months of searching, and 2 failed downloads (Yung will kill me if he finds out), I finally found the perfect english subtitles to the Korean version of Antique Bakery. It has to be perfect, because the language is completely uncensored. Lol. I see the words "f*ck, you goddamn fa**ot, and b***tard" more than anything else. This movie is some pretty good shit.

Kim Jae-Wook is so hot <3 I like my men with glasses and ponytail :D

Watching Sleepless in Seattle...

Jessica's mom: Honey, we need you to tell us where Jonah is. His father is very worried.
Jessica: N-Y-
Sam: *looks at the father* What does that mean?!
Jessica's father: "No way"?
Sam : That's NW!!!

I thought that was really funny. But then again, my sense of humor has always been abit weird.
Am I really weird?
I'm almost afraid to find out.
There are days when I feel slightly twisted.

Batman 3!

source:comicbookmovies

I heard Johnny Depp may be playing The Riddler~ I hope its true. I really like the villains in Batman.

Back in those days...

I forgot to set my alarm clock the night before, and I woke up at 1pm today! Dammit. So I couldn't go to KD to take pictures for my Tech assignment. Instead, I went and got my LG Ice Cream~ in white! ^_^ The salesguy kept trying to shove the pink one on me -.- I'm not kidding. He's like "Take a look at this one instead!"
Did he notice me edging away?
Everyone has to get that stereotypical "all girls love pink" idea out of their heads.

Ending this on a random note;
A little disagreement with Jason yesterday triggered my memory of the Satan Brothers and a certain Tony McCaslin. I really have to blog about this so I won't ever forget again. Lol! It was (and still is) the funniest thing that happened to me back in Form 2.

It started with YT having a party at her place, and she invited a lot of people, and somehow they all brought their own set of friends. And someone spiked the drinks as a prank, and none of us knew. Next thing you know, everyone was... tipsy, me included. Luckily, Brian and Edwin was there and they called Yung to come and get me. He came, was pissed when he saw er.. me being drunk (apparently I was told I did a lot of stupid things), and started questioning everyone, demanding to know who did it, and someone pointed the fingers at the bunch of La Sallians and it pissed them off. After that, he drove me home, my dad threw a fit at me and I got chased around the house half drunk.

Jason kept complaining about being pissed at Yung for accusing them, blah blah "if you have the guts, you'd be a man and settle it face to face" bullshit. And Yung said "come look for me if you're so unhappy". I think he got abit scared after that but pride stopped him from backing down, so he created the fictional Satan Brothers, and their leader Tony McCaslin. That name will forever be engraved in my mind. J told me about being in the same clique as them, and "you don't mess with Tony if you know whats good for you" because apparently he was jailed before, for beating people up. And he's so rich nice, he buys a Skyline for every guy who joins Satan Brothers. Seriously. A bloody car. I told J I want in if I get a Skyline too. Which he ignored.
After that, 'Tony McCaslin' wrote me an email telling me to pass the msg to Yung and tell him not to mess with Jason, because he's next in line to take over "the brotherhood". That was really the highest point of the whole episode. Instead of showing the mail to Yung, I showed it to Lyd, Nut and Shari and we all had a good laugh. I mean, really, if I was a 25 year old gang-leader jailed for beating people up, I sure as hell wouldn't be sitting there writing an email to a 14 year old girl, telling her to pass the message please and thanks.
J also came online afterwards and said "Tony's here at my house now, he wants to talk to you." After about 5 minutes of talking to "Tony", I said "Why don't you talk to my brother instead?". And Jason quickly replied "Oh, Tony just left. He's got some stuff to do. He can't talk to your brother."

I forgot how everything ended but it is still the most amusing thing that ever happened.

I'm so excited, my heart is on the verge of falling out of my chest!
I kid you not.
Tim Burton's art exhibition is moving from New York to Melbourne in June till October. Its finally within my reach. I really really really really want to go. And I can probably bunk at Michelle's if I go. Right? RIGHT?
Except I have college on June - October. Oh dammit!

Lately, I feel... weird. I don't know if its because I've been so busy that I never talk to anyone anymore, and when I finally do, it feels like I've lost that... connection with people. Like I'm speaking in a completely different language. It scares me a little. I think I've never felt like I couldn't talk to anyone. And I feel myself retreating and becoming more.... introverted. Books are pretty much my only solace now.

I'm tired of telling people the same thing. "What are you doing? Oh, rushing for assignment". "Are you free for lunch? Ah, I can't. I've got class till late." or "Sorry, I gotta finish a bunch of drawings.". I'd give alot to be able to say yes. To be able to go out anytime I feel like it. Some people have asked me if that was an excuse for not wanting to hang out. And it makes me mad. I don't think I'd have to resort to lying just because I don't want to go out. Even though I know after a while, it begins to sound like one.
I wish people would understand. Design isn't like math, or science. If you know where to look and if you know the formula, the answer is there. A few hours max, and you're done with everything. With design, if the ideas don't come, you have to do whatever it takes in order to come up with something. Hours and hours of research if you have to. There's no such thing as "party now, do work later" for us. Because there's always a freaking deadline. I have 2 design classes in a week. I spend the weekend preparing for tutorial on Monday. And then if I have to make changes, or improve, I spend the next 2 days rushing for class on Thursday. With all the other subjects in between, 48 hours is just not enough.

None of my subjects are the kind that you can get answers from books. Even with History, its not just about reading and memorizing names of buildings or dates of construction. You have to sit there and look at different pictures, read and analyze the buildings, its type of design and be able to tell the difference between one and another, and why. On the rare days that I do go out, I can never get rid of this guilty feeling that I'm out having fun when I should be home finishing up my work. I wish they would see from my point of view.

One down...

5 to go...!
Presentations, I mean. 3 more interim crits, 1 internal design review and (hopefully if I'm chosen) the external review and the nightmare semester is over.
I can't wait.
I just wonder why, after all the presentations, I am still afraid of speaking in public.


My list of books to buy is growing.... fast. I have about 15 books I want to get. And BX is selling 3 Terry Pratchett books I want. That's 18. Each time I get the urge to just cancel my money-saving plan and get a book, I just look at my phone in its very sad state, held together by a rubberband. I don't think it'll last for long. As it is now, it keeps hanging up on random people, including my dad. Its quite funny. People are gonna start thinking I'm doing it on purpose.

I finally have 9!! \o\ |o| /o/ *victory dance* Movie produced by Tim Burton. I've been searching for quite a while. I'm wondering if I should sleep now, or watch :S I heard Tim Burton may want to remake Snow White. Hmm. I think he would do an awesome version of the Evil Queen. Maleficent is her name? I don't remember.
I hope its true!

The good news is, Alice in Wonderland was bloody incredible!! ^_^ It was so worth the wait.

The bad news is, my Tech test was not. And my design tutorial. Apparently I wasn't going into enough details about my concept and ideas. I speak more than I draw. Ugh. I foresee retaking the paper, and screwing my design interim crit this Thursday.
Pretty bummed out and then Lyd called and said "I'm free now. Movie?" And I said "Yay!!!" cause I knew what we would be watching.

Managed to get tickets at Times Square for the 4pm show of Alice in Wonderland. We were so excited that we waited outside 5-10 minutes before they started seating us. Tim Burton is a genius. I knew he wouldn't disappoint. The environment scenes were very picturesque and especially the Red Queen and White Queen's castle. There was a Mushroom Forest which was similar to the one I drew for my "creature environment" calendar last year. Except I lacked details. I liked that he showed us the reason for Mad Hatter's supposed madness, and I cried during 2 Mad Hatter scenes. Johnny Depp is love.
I am even more in awe of Tim Burton now.

ohmyholyducks!

They DO sell Tim Burton's movie environment sets!!! I found some halloween website and they've got the Nightmare Before Christmas Town Village and the Corpse Bride's Village set, plus you can apparently buy the characters separately and put it in the Town set.

I want!! <3
The question is, how? :S

Hydra!

I can't believe this, but all the paper clay in the stationary shops around my college are sold out. I had to drive all the way down to State to get it -.- Came back and started on touching up my Hydra, and it took me 5 hours just to do it. Had to keep washing my hand everytime it itches and apply medicine. Its not so red anymore, but still looks big compared to the rest of my fingers :S Hopefully it'll heal fast after this.


This is Hydra before I finished the little details. Had to put it in the shoebox, otherwise it wouldn't stand. Now they look like a scarier version of a pet hamster or whatever, trying to get out. So adorable XD I couldn't do proper details though 'cause I'm so afraid the head would break, so they don't look as fierce as I wanted them to be. And they're toothless.

Ignore that thing they're leaning on. Whatever you think it is, its not. Its supposed to look like a rock, because this is the only way it'll stand, but I failed miserably and the paper clay has hardened. So its stuck looking like that. And my Hydra is abit bony, cause we ran out of clay.

This is the head detail. I know it doesn't really look like a snake (or at least, a pathetic version), cause Lyd and I were referring to the Lord of the Rings artbook and after we were done, I realised we were referring to a dragon instead. But I must have done something right with the facial details at least, cause just now I showed my mom and she freaked and yelled "Nooooo~ get it away!" (Now I know where I get all my cockroach drama from)

Alice in Wonderland comes out tomorrow! And I've got an exam. Dang.

I can finally sleep early tonight!!

You have no idea how happy it makes me to be able to say that.

I saw Mr Redzwan today, and explained about my finger condition, and he said *insert disbelieving tone* "You're allergic to clay?!?! What kinda species are you?". But still, he gave me an extension. I'm allowed to pass up the 2nd model maybe 1-2 days later. Went over to Lyd's place after, to ask for her help with my sculpture now that my left hand is almost useless. And we managed to finish both the models :D Surprisingly. Although hardly anyone in her family could tell its Hydra at first. We made a bigger snake-head detailing and Lyd's bro walked into the living room and asked me "Is that a Hippo?"

Its sad, really. I may have to kill him.

Lyd's grandmother thought it was a shark...
I can't kill her though.