Suddenly, I feel like I'm turning out to be quite an accomplished liar. Its not that I want to be, but its really funny how people tend to believe my lies more than the truth. Probably because saying "I've got no money" is such an over-used excuse. If I had told people I'm broke, they'd say "Ahh, just tell us the truth if you don't want to go". But if I lied and said "Oh, I've got something to do at home", or "My dad says I can't go out today", people would quietly accept it.

Oh, the irony.


Canceling last minute on a class trip, saying no to movies, saying no to yumcha; its not that I really want to. But if the rest of my siblings are going to be oblivious about our current situation, then I feel like at least one of us has to be responsible right? Its also ironic that the 'responsible' one happens to be the youngest.
Sometimes, I wonder, what if I had decided not to care too? If I, too, decided that I'd just go on my own way and enjoy myself without a single thought to the people around me. Would I be happier? Why do I have to be the one responsible anyway? I'm the youngest. I should be carefree, rebellious, and selfish, leaving the older brothers to worry about everything else.

Clearly that's not the case here.
But you know what? I think I wouldn't mind being selfish for once.



"Let me tell you this; if you meet a loner, no matter what they tell you, its not because they enjoy solitude. It's because they have tried to blend into the world before, and people continue to disappoint them."
-Jodi Picoult