We've been "only just" surviving for so long, it has become a lifestyle for us.
I've gotten used to it, and I don't mind. I don't complain.
I never needed a lot, (most probably) never will.
I don't have any extravagant tastes or hobbies.
My only interests are books, and my Jappy class.
Now, even more than ever, I have to cut down on one, and quit the other.
And as selfish as it may sound, I really don't want to have to give up on either.
I feel like that's all I have.
I've given up on piano before. And occasionally, when I think about it, I still regret making that decision.
And this is when I begin to feel resentful.
Are things never to get better?
They always do, for a while, and that gives us hope.
And just as fast, that hope is taken away, and we're back to the same.
I've sacrificed, I've given up on things I want, I've gone through the toughest times and I've done everything I could (at risk to my own health even) yet, it all amounts to nothing.
Which leaves me to think, its never going to get better.
We'll just have to go on like this.