If anyone had asked me what I dread most everyday, I'd say its the amount of time it takes for me to fall asleep.
Its good when I'm usually so exhausted that I fall asleep before my head even touched the pillow.
But when I can't, the moments that I'm lying there still awake, staring into the dark is the scariest.
I've got all these thoughts running through my head, like flashes of images. I can't make sense of them before they're gone and another takes its place.
I think darkness has a way of playing tricks on me.
And also because I've been reading The Forbidden Game.
All this talk about light and darkness, shadows, voids, what is reality and what isn't.
Anyway, from as far as I have been able to remember, I have been terribly interested in the idea of existence.
That's why I can never stand being alone in the dark.
Its different from being alone when there's light. That way you could still see.
But being in dark, its really easy for me to pretend I don't exist.
And I'm always afraid nobody would find me.
This is weird, but I can't imagine what it would be like to be blind.
To be in a constant state of unknowing, whether you exist or if everything was a figment of your imagination.

“If one looks at a thing with the intention of trying to discover what it means, one ends up no longer seeing the thing itself, but of thinking of the question that is raised.”
-Rene Magritte, Belgian surrealist