whats that i hear?

Ohh right..
1. FREEDOM (well, kind of. Final submission of Research report on 22nd October)
2. Happiness, because I was told I got the highest marks for external review. Muahaha!

I'm sorry. I'm not bragging. I'm just really happy. Shocked. In a state of disbelief, still. Because I was almost resigned to be content with just-average marks again. I have to say, despite all the stress, anxiety and the trips to the clinic, this semester has been good. This is the first time I felt like I have achieved something, after 2 years of design. Its like thinking "Okay, maybe I can do this after all". Also, this might sound mean, because I'm also happy I won't be seeing any of my college mates for the next few months. I have declined a trip to Johnson's home in Kuching. The only reason I can think of is the word "overdose". I see them every single day, for more than 5 hours, most of the time, weekends included. And it just kills me. They remind me too much of college. I'm happy to just stay home with all my books. I really do like being on my own.

Of course, when I say freedom, I actually meant freedom-i-can-sleep-more-than-3-hours-a-day. Not omfg-freedom-i-can-do-anything-i-want-now-including-sleeping-for-13-straight-hours-and-never-changing-out-of-my-jammies-the-whole-day-just-reading. I wish. Internship's coming up soon. I have an interview on Monday, and I haven't printed out my portfolio yet :S I have no idea what to show. And MSID's Students' Saturday has been pushed back to November 13th, instead of 23rd October.. so I'm considering pulling out from the talentime performance. I'm not sure if I have the time for it. I have the report to finish in 2 weeks, then there's that Jappy speech, also in 2 weeks (yes, my sensei postponed it T_T.. she would keel over if she finds out I haven't even started writing it).. and my Jappy exam is on 12th November. My Jappy has been deteriorating for the past year. If I were to steal the name list from my sensei, next to my name, there will be O's along the line because I never once passed up my homework. I just go to class for 2 hours, struggle through trying not to sleep, come home, put the books aside until the next Jappy class. I just really want to concentrate on Jappy now, for the coming exam. Ms Diana might kill me though, if I tell her I want to pull out.

I guess I'm just thinking that I'd rather do less things, and be able to commit fully than take on a lot, and be half-assed about it. Gah. Decisions, decisions. If I could, I'd go back to being a kid. The only decision I ever had to make was which cartoon channel to watch. Ignorance is bliss, they say. I concede.