while i breathe, i hope..

It's been two days since X Japan's concert tickets went on sale.

I wonder if it's sold out already.

I'm hoping it is, because then maybe I'll be able to let this go.. finally.

I've been in varying states of emotions(?) since I found out a week ago that they're going to be performing in Thailand on November 8th.

Excitement, because it's real! They're coming!
Denial, because as much as I'd like to pretend otherwise, I know college doesn't end by November; instead, I'm having a possible final review and submission on that week.

Depression, because I can't help stalking the Thailand ticketing site and checking out flight tickets even though I know I won't be going.

Even now, I still have moments when I think, "Screw it, I'm going whether I have a review or not."

But maybe, just maybe, my desire to graduate is SLIGHTLY more than my desire to see X Japan. I don't want to screw up at the last minute.

College is a dead weight I need to get rid of because it's the only thing keeping me here.

In the meantime, I'll just keep wishing they will have another Asia tour, if only for cheap tickets. I mean, really! RM650 for front-row seats, if I'm going for their Bangkok live..!

Or I could just fly to wherever they are. Europe, US, Japan..

This time I'll be ready.