Nowadays I can't listen to / sing a love song at home without my mom asking if I'm seeing someone. I wish I was kidding, but nope. She gets her hopes up everytime I sing a song about falling in love.
Honestly, I never thought there'd be a day my parents would bug me to date. I always thought they'd be content to let me be their little girl forever. Lord knows he still calls me at 10pm everyday when I'm out, days when he would walk me out to my car in the morning when I go to work, and when I'm sick he'd insist on driving me to the doctor's.. Okay, my dad's pretty awesome. But I'd like a little independence.... just to show that I can get on well enough on my own, ya know? I still don't go on road trips with friends (Hopefully that will change soon... can't say anything yet but I'm keeping my fingers crossed for a long haul trip happening sometime next month).
There are days when I'm quite sure I blame myself for this predicament I'm in. It feels like I buried my heart under so many layers of insecurity, I don't even feel it anymore. I'm not content to stay this way but it's been too long..
During the weekend, I watched Glee's "The Quarterback" episode. It was heart breaking, to say the least. I never really let myself get into the fact that Cory Monteith had passed away. There were times I wondered if they were really talking about the person Cory was, instead of 'Finn' the character. And I'm not too sure why everyone is so hung up on the fact that the series didn't mention how he died. Really guys? What's important isn't that the story didn't gel because no one know how he died, but that he is dead. If that makes sense. It's a tribute, not a documentary.
"You know, when I would see that stuff on the news, I would shut it off because it was just too horrible to think, but I would always think, "How do they wake up every day? I mean, how do they.. how do they breathe, honey? But you do wake up. And for just a second, you forget. And then, oh, you remember. And it's like getting that phone call again and again, every time. You don't get to stop waking up. You have to keep on being a parent even though you don't have a child anymore."
"You know, when I would see that stuff on the news, I would shut it off because it was just too horrible to think, but I would always think, "How do they wake up every day? I mean, how do they.. how do they breathe, honey? But you do wake up. And for just a second, you forget. And then, oh, you remember. And it's like getting that phone call again and again, every time. You don't get to stop waking up. You have to keep on being a parent even though you don't have a child anymore."
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